With the end of classes, whatever force of will or nature or whatever was keeping me on sort of a normal schedule just snapped right out of existence, and now I'm back on my natural sleep schedule. This is particularly frustrating, as I'm between the devil and the deep blue sea, in a lot of ways - I feel great, right now, at 4:30 in the morning, because I slept until three this afternoon; there's some unconscious switch that flips on and off that lets me live not quite on this schedule, but I get to be miserable when that happens. I'm dreading, a little, the conversation I have to have with my summer employer* about the Abnormal Circadean Rhythm of Doom, and I'm reading up a little on disability to help me out. Posts I'm terribly grateful for this evening are
here, here, and
here; found at least one of them through
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troubleinchina.
*Badass feminist international comparative constitutional law professor - old girls' club, here I come.
Comments
My natural rhythms are to fall asleep around 2 am and wake up around 10 am, give or take an hour or two (meaning, b/w 2-4 am and 10-noon). In my second year of business school, all my classes were in the afternoon, so I more or less lived on this schedule w/o incident. Now in my 4th year of Phd program, I'm getting into it again, but have developed more of a sense of guilt about it and a sense that I'm not part of life if I keep these hours. Like to sleep from 4-noon everyday will isolate me further than grad school already has...
I shut off my PC last night around 2am and fell asleep closer to 4am, after taking a pill, because I was so wound up when I went to bed and COULD NOT RELAX. I ended up getting back up around 3:30 and making an outline for my dissertation proposal. When I woke up around 11:15 am I was groggy as shit.
Too bad I didn't know you were on-line! We could have bonded. :)
Not only are these my natural rhythms, I LIKE staying up late. It's QUIET in the wee hours of the night/morning like at no other time in the 24 hour cycle - and so it's really private time. When I was living on the UES during biz school, I lived off 2nd Av where a metal plate in the road would make the traffic - and esp. truck - rumblings over it particularly noisy. I used to marvel - and exult in - the quiet that settled over NYC b/w 2:30 - 4 a.m. Now in Boston I live on a train line that runs from about 5:15 a.m. until 2 a.m. So again, there's a much quieter 3 hours...
When I wrote my PhD exams last fall, I would get up b/w 10 and noon, write until 3 am, sleep and repeat. I suspect this is also how I will write my dissertation. I will have to schedule lunch and dinner and the occasional shag w/my man around these hours. ;)
As you might imagine, you have my undying sympathy for what you're going through on your end!!!!