Howard Dean has looked up, consulted with focus groups, read polling data from fifteen months ago, and announced that the sky is, indeed, blue. 

I'm just going to go stand in a freezing fucking shower and figure out if I'm getting wet.

I'm not going to talk about how the Rites of the All-High Masons of Media and Internet Communications have fully jumped the shark on this one.  Corrente did that already, and much better than I will, as did the brilliant Anglachel.

I'm not going to talk about how what Senator Clinton said was, in fact, rock-solid historical fact, as Riverdaughter and Red have already done, or that we are utterly foolish to construe it otherwise, as RFK, Jr.'s statement is far more important than anything from me could ever be. 

What astounds me is that everyone in the world is so utterly convinced not just that there are historical parallels, but that the historical parallel in question is Senator Obama.  This is partially, of course, a function of the fact that I've never bought the myth that Senator Obama's youth and virility automatically make him the missing Kennedy brother.  Neither candidate is Bobby Kennedy, nor should they be, not because I don't find RFK deeply admirable - I do - but because they do not need to be specters of the past to be impressive.  If you think your candidate must be someone else reincarnated to be acceptable, perhaps you should rethink your choice of candidate.  If I were playing that game, however, I'd point out that no matter how many times you hold hands beneath a full moon with your fraternity brothers and chant over your director's cut of Thirteen Days, stacked atop your updated edition of The Audacity of Hope, you won't change the fact that RFK was widely perceived as the junior partner in a political dynasty, someone whose critics could only stammer that he was "ruthless" and did not shiver their timbers with his public speaking, though his devotion to justice was clear as a bell, that he bothered to show up in Appalachia, or that he'd actually won the California primary, so that particular historical narrative quite simply does not stand up to the facts, just to your squishy smooshy feelings, and you should think about that next time you accuse Clinton supporters of vagina voting. 

I am not surprised, not in the least, that RFK is on Senator Clinton's mind.  Not just because she is old enough to remember the pain of that moment and that, as Riverdaughter says so brilliantly in the post cited above,* it's branded into our political consciousness that in 1968, the Democratic primary went until June, and California had its say, but because she is all to aware that she walks in his shoes.  It is not taboo in our public discourse, as the Actor Poorly Portraying Edward Murrow would have us believe, to mention assassination.  (Especially classy coming from you, Keith, you fucking scumbag.)  It is in fact a joke to many people wielding far too much power in our public discourse.  Such jokes are not just jokes.  They function to desensitize the listener to the possibility of violence against her person. 

She is not thinking of RFK because she wishes that fate on anyone.  This is patently clear.  She is thinking of Robert Kennedy because a supposed liberal commentator jokes about someone taking her into a room and "only he comes out," because an elected representative suggests that she should be content with drowning lest we shoot her, because these are but the tip of the iceburg, the ones that got caught, but she and her ever-vigilant Secret Service detail know that they are heard by people who do not just think this is funny, but deadly serious.  She wasn't just talking about history.   She, no less (and, if our news media's threats were to be taken seriously, quite possibly more) than Senator Obama, must know that there are many who wish her the worst harm possible.  She must stare, some nights on the plane, when her eyes glaze over at tomorrow's schedule, at her protection and wonder if they have practiced lately, wonder if they ran today, if they slept enough, if, if, if.  I can't even describe my anger at everyone, fauxgressive, conservative, or apathetic, who screeches today about her evil intent but has laughed off the threats on her life, except to say that it is cold and it is fierce.

Senator Clinton was not calling for harm to befall Senator Obama.  She was referencing history, but she was not just doing that.  She was talking about the chill she must feel, at that which is a "joke" to the chattering classes, though she hides it well, when Sirhan Sirhan lifts up her hair and murmurs in her ear.

*I cite things so anyone reading can understand what I am saying.  If there are any jackass comments to this entry that contribute nothing except that the reader doesn't understand how to click a hyperlink, I will hold said jackassery up for derision.

Things that are important to NARAL Pro-Choice America:

1.  Ensuring that women make prayerful decisions about abortions. 
2.  Stark and pronounced disrespect for LGBTQ voters.
3.  Support for parental consent laws.  (Yes, really.)
4.  A puerile, vicious propensity to make period jokes.
5.  A public, bad-for-women man-crush on John Roberts.

Things that are not important to NARAL Pro-Choice America:

1.  Plan B OTC.
2.  Title X Funding.
3.  A public pledge to pass legislation which would protect abortion rights even if Roe were overturned.
4.  The Prevention First Act.
5.  The ability to speak to and about women like we are, you know, people.

Good job, assholes.  I can't fucking wait until you call me begging for money.

ETA a comment I left with the Apostate's succinct and apt post about the issue:  What just crushes me with the irony is the statement that “every day that passes, Sen. McCain gets a free ride on the issue of choice. That free ride ends today.” They’re the ones giving him the free ride. They are a pro-choice advocacy group, and giving McCain hell is their job. Instead of issuing a press release about McCain, they decided to beat up on Clinton. Why? Because beating up on Clinton gets you more attention than actually advocating for your issues. Shame.

Another funny, funny, FUNNY Fatal Attraction quip.  (H/t)

This time from an ELECTED REPRESENTATIVE.  A DEMOCRAT. 

"When asked about whether Clinton should drop out of the race on Fox 13's "Good Morning Memphis" program today, [U. S. Rep. Steve Cohen (D-Memphis)] said: "Glenn Close should have stayed in that tub."

Haaaaahahahaha, because that bitch wouldn't die, she should have just drowned so we don't have to shoot her!  See, how funny that is?  Don't you just feel inspired?!  FEEL THE UNITY, ASSHOLES!

Fuck him, fuck everyone who laughs at that joke, and fuck the DCCC when they give his ridiculous ass funding to run for re-election.

Yes, Virginia, this is about me too, and you too.

To:  The Estate of Eleanor Stegeberg
From:  pocochina
Re:  Your Asshole Husband

I feel it is my personal and professional duty to inform you that decedent's husband is a sexist piece of crap, who should just shut the fuck up, for the good of the country and party.  Of course, I will hold him, and decedent, in my heart for all of my days as one inseparable unit, a two-headed anti-my-candidate monster, if you will, but that doesn't mean he has any right to be speaking in public like he was people and shit.  I mean, really, next they will be wanting the vote and everything. 

You're probably wondering, why am I writing this letter to you?  I mean, you're not him, you're a whole other person.  This estate may have had some influence over his decision, maybe, maybe not, but we don't know, so I'm going to talk to you.  As George has just taught me, you're not just responsible for his decisions, you are the appropriate person to whom to take my concerns. 

You might also be wondering, why have I chosen to write this in a public forum, on my livejournal, rather than appealing privately, by phone or letter, to either the estate or to Mr McGovern himself.  This could, after all, potentially be embarrassing to the party.  The press meme, after all, has been that the Democrats are eating each other alive, and a public betrayal which throws red meat to this idiotic meme can only increase this problem that the press and DNC have dreamed up.  It kind of looks like all I really want is attention and feedback from people who I am sure will agree with me, rather than something which could be beneficial to any actual convictions I may or may not be espousing.  Also, of course, the fact that all over the internet, people have been saying the exact same thing I am saying is in no way indicative of a skewed perception that my statements are Way More Important than theirs, which is why it's very important that I have this conversation with you.  Rather than him.  The person involved.  In a public forum.  However, my clear desire for attention is far, far less important than the fact that this guy needs to stop doing his freaking job the way he sees fit, and start doing it the way I see fit, which is not to do it at all.  Seriously.  Just make him shut up already.  Please. 

Three times in the last six days, some asshole has, on national television, joked about the murder of Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton.  That's less than a week.  None of these fuckers have been fired or suspended.  Olbermann has grudgingly offered a half an apology.  That's all you have to do if you suggest killing someone, if that someone dares to walk and talk and go out in public while in possession of a vagina.  If anyone stumbles on a reporter, journalist, or Lefty Dood blogger who gives a raving shit whether or not a US Senator lives or is violently murdered, please let me know; in the meantime, I'm going to consider them all useless fucking hypocrites. 

Shame.  Shame.  Shame. 

Oh.  And also via Shakes, the people charged with protecting her from the lunatics who are hearing these jokes?  Are busy planting fucking nooses all over training centers.  They're also supposed to be protecting Barack Obama.  I don't have to be a supporter to point out that he absolutely deserves - and clearly needs - better protection than this. 

Shame. 

I'll be actually thinking and posting after my international law exam.  On which I want to do really well now, so I can have the option to get the fuck out of here.  Because if they're coming for Hillary, they're coming for me too.

ETA (bumping this up from comments, thanks celiloquy for prodding me to refine my thoughts):  If some brown foreign person publicly laughed at the idea the murder of a senator, we would call it terrorism. But since it's white Americans talking about HRC, it's a joke.

"She got a reprieve from the governor for two weeks..."

"Are we now talking about the talk of retribution to get her out of the race?"

"Somebody who can take her into a room and only he comes out."

Actively espousing violent terminology.  ALSO GIRLZ CAN BE SUPERDELEGATES NOW TOO KEITH YOU FUCKING MORON.  Actually, I'm pretty sure he knows that, he's just choosing the image of a man actually killing a powerful woman because he is a useless asshole. 

THANKS KO.  For proving Anglachel's point.

(Thank you Taylor Marsh, for watching MSNBC so the rest of us don't have to.)

The media is ACTUALLY ON METH YOU GUYS.

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW. 

(Via Jezebel)

I hope you fucking eat shit and choke on it. 

For those lucky enough to not be aware, Keith Olbermann decided to name Sir Elton John on his "worst person in the world" list because John decided to point out the glaringly self-evident fact that there is misogyny in this country that has a negative impact on Senator Clinton's campaign. 

Keith, you sorry misogynist fuck? 

He wasn't talking about everyone in this country, or even everyone who voted for Obama.  As everyone who passed kindergarten knows, "some" is not the same as "all."

He was talking about you.

(Via Shakes, video here if you're brave.)

Splutter.  Rage.   HELL NO MOTHERFUCKER.

DON'T YOU DARE RUN IN MY STATE, CHRIS MATTHEWS, DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE.  You are a misogynistic motherfucker, an irresponsible journalist, a fair-weather Democrat, a POC-trivializing asshole, a shallow thinker, and an embarrassment to this country's political process.  I will not be represented by not one but two DINO douchehounds in the US Senate.  I will move back to Philadelphia after graduation just to join the campaign of whatever fucking REAL DEMOCRAT RUNS AGAINST YOUR SORRY ASS. 

Camilla Paglia is actually unhinged.  I used to think she just realized that self-loathing pays well, but no, she's actually insane. 

Holy shit. 

This weekend's All-High Badass Dick-Swingin' Motherfucker:  MARK HALPERIN!  Mark, your momma must be so proud.

I don't know where this idiot meme got started, (maybe here) but I want to do a Logic Check. 

Ezra the All-High Badass Dick-Swingin' Motherfucker* Says:

....Family and Medical Leave Act, another product of the Dodd-Kennedy duo which Clinton takes credit for, had nothing to do with her.

Nothing to do with her!  Them's fightin' words!  Silly Hillary, making things up as usual! 

Her site talks abut her experience "Helping to pass the Family and Medical Leave Act,"

Helping?  If you think "helping" is the same as "taking credit," one (or more) of those words does not mean what you think it means.  "Helping" implies an ancillary part of a group effort, in fact, in context, it's the exact opposite of "taking credit," which implies leadership or sole responsibility.  Helping?!  Why, you'd think from that regal language that Queen Hillary Spaketh, and lo, it was so!  Where does she get off?  Or, you'd think that maybe she was part of a huge, concerted effort on an important issue that affected the entire fucking country. 

but her newly released records show that she never held a meeting or hearing on the bill.

And, as we all know, everything she ever did in six decades was contained in a day planner which spans eight years.  She sprang from the head of Zeus as a full-grown, headband-wearin' First Lady!  It's almost like magic!  And you know what else, I like HRC and I didn't read through the whole fucking thing.  So points for that. 

And given that Bill Clinton signed the FMLA 10 days after he entered office, it's a bit hard to see what role she could have played.

I am going to use my wild, active imagination here, and my KILLER FUCKING RESEARCH SKILLZ, and come up with a theory.  How in God's name could a prominent Democrat, someone who was twice named one of the 100 most influential lawyers in America, who sat on the board of the Children's Defense Fund, and who worked on the Committee of Women in the Profession of some tiny little unknown organization (by which I mean the American Bar Association, which is KIND OF A BIG DEAL) have anything to do with the Family and Medical Leave Act?  I'm RACKING MY GODDAMN BRAIN.  No way she could have met with committees, or provided studies, or worked with representatives and senators from Arkansas or neighboring southern states to try to convince them to vote for it.  I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING.  AND I GAVE IT LIKE A WHOLE MINUTE AND A HALF.  She must be a lying-ass motherfucker.

I'm not saying she did any of those things.  I don't know, I wasn't there, I was busy reading about the Sweet Valley Twins or some shit.**  But it's not "hard to see" how she would have been involved, unless you assume that the only thing she ever did was be the First Lady, which is not true.   It makes perfect fucking sense that she would have been involved.  So to imply that she's a random-ass liar, based just on her day planner from the time of the Clinton Administration, is to directly ignore all the work in her life from before that time period.  It's a little thing, really, in the scope of all the crap that gets thrown at Senator Clinton, but it's emblematic of the desire so many people seem to have, which is to take everything she says or does and twist it into a self-aggrandizing lie.  I'm all for skepticism when it comes to elected officials, but jumping straight to accusations of lies and credit-stealing, admittedly based on the entries in ten days of a fucking day planner, isn't skepticism, it's silliness. 

*Yes, I'm aware that he's far from the worst.   But it caught my eye and pissed me off.

**Shut up, I was in first grade.  I stole it from my cousins because I wanted a chapter book for myself.

What really, really matters in this election is Bill Clinton's cock. 

I swear to God.  If this fucking country lets TEH CLENIS keep us from having President HRC, I don't even know what I'm going to do.  Something terribly morbid and self-destructive.  Like ORAL SEX BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT SHOULD RUIN YOUR FUCKING LIFE.* 

I am darkly amused by the karma of it, though.  Give a heartfelt speech on an important issue (oh, darlings, do we have thoughts on The Speech) and have the media distracted by something salacious and stupid the next day!  And while public sympathy for the Wronged Wife is running at a fever pitch, too.  Live by the stupid media distractions, get totally ignored because of stupid media distractions.  Karma is a BIG EMOTIONAL PREMENSTRUAL BITCH. 

*Studies show this is not true.  But fuck it, it's not like ACTUAL FACTS matter to anyone!  Let's have a field day!  Oral sex makes you have ALIEN BABIES AND THEY COME OUT YOUR NOSE.  It MAKES THE BABY JESUS CRY.  People who have oral sex KIDNAP AND EAT UNITY PONIES.  

The Undisputable Fact that "Hillary says SOME STATES DON'T COUNT" is far more important that the fact that the Obama campaign, aided and abetted by the DNC and "progressive" media, is actually arguing for some states not to count.

This also shows that the Clinton campaign is deeply underhanded and undemocratic, regardless of the out and out bullying practiced by Obama caucus-goers, and their utter refusal to even investigate the possibility of wrongdoing.

Discuss.

NEW CLINTON RULE, MOTHERFUCKERS!

No discussion of a public figure's infidelity is complete without a CLENIS REFERENCE. Because no Republicans have been involved in sex scandals, especially not in the last seven years! And anyway how dare Hillary remind us of that ugly, divisive stuff, showing her face in public and all!? Bitch. Whaddaya mean, using problems in a woman's marriage to attempt to disqualify her from public service is stomach-turningly sexist, plus it makes me look like I can't make a reasoned policy argument against her, and am hoping everyone in the country is too stupid to pay attention to anything but licking some patriarchal ass? Huh? What? Look, something SHINY!

Yes. Yes I was watching CNN earlier this evening, how ever did you know?

Dear idiots who believed the fucking Drudge Report:

You are still idiots.

Oh, Jesus Mary and Joseph. It's not like it's this is even the first time a right-wing media outlet has accused Senator Clinton of doing their dirty work for them.

Actually inspired by a comment from the lovely pixxelpuss  on clinton_2008  .

Every time someone in the media tries to make an awkward moment for Hil with Monica Code, you take a shot. You could drink ALL DAY! Double if it's in a debate or Sunday morning interview. A big sweet cocktail if it's Anderson Cooper or Keith Olbermann (for they are biased, but they are silver foxes. Since this is no game for Obama fans, we include the queer ladies, and therefore they may substitute Soledad O'Brian. Because she is Teh Hawtness.)

Naturally, in a debate moderated by Anderson Cooper/Soledad O'Brian, in which one of them asks about a "crisis in your past," chug. Not too quickly, though, because you have to drain your glass when Obama flubs the answer and Hils nails it.

You'll be passed out by the time the bullshit spin rolls around!

You're welcome, internet. I share because I care.

Please stop making me defend Barack Obama.  This right here - http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08043/856727-153.stm - was a dick move.  Also, of course, it's insulting to both candidates, because it insinuates that HRC can't win without racism - LIE - and it is stupid, because racist douchebags aren't voting in the Democratic primary ANYWAY.  All you did was SCREW US ALL OVER.  THANKS. 

ETA:  Okay.  It looks like he was talking about PA demographics in general - and yeah, there are a scary amount of Confederate flags hanging around central PA, and I don't think he's condoning that.  http://my.barackobama.com/page/community/post/richardmcgervey/Cmgr. ; Still a stupid move, and definitely insensitive, but nowhere near as bad as I thought it was.